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is that how it happened?

by The Skirts

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1.
Wait Here 04:13
you tell me i'm the bad guy that it's all, it's all in my head well, it might take a few tries for me to get myself out of bed but does that make it fair for you to taunt me standing there? oh, won't you tell me all the things that you've been dying for me to hear and if you speak them sweet enough then maybe i won't disappear there's a whole lot of love to be lost and, darling, it isn't clear should i stay or should i leave? because we can't wait here it's not like i'm afraid to cry it's just -- you make it so hard to show that side but now that there's a chance to try maybe it's not worth it to hide but does that make it true if it only comes from you? i'm going for a walk might be back sometime 'round ten if you still wanna talk well, we can do it then.
2.
Left Me Here 03:45
it's been a long, long time since you went away and i've been thinking 'bout you every day after you left me, i wandered the street you wouldn't like all the people i meet but you left me here all alone, my dear you left me here, and i'm sad since you've been gone, i'm starting to feel nothing is with me, and nothing is real it's an awakening of sorts to start to see that how i love you's not the way that you love me you left me here, and i'm sad i've found a place you can't see where i can go where you can't hurt me you always knew we'd be perfect but not, at least we both agree sitting alone, i've lost all my nerve you might believe it's what i deserve but there is no shame in wanting you for mine alone i was convinced that we could finally move on if you came back, i'd probably wish that you were gone you left me here, and i'm sad.
3.
Losing Time 03:13
it's all the same from end to end and i could really use a friend so keep me here yeah, here with you let's see what this machine can do hold my hand when the crowd comes over maybe next year, i'll be bolder can't you see we're losing time? i'm feeling low you're feeling blue there's so much wrong with me and you it's getting late too late to know let's see how fast this thing can go lift me up to see the lights, now baby, we'll get through this, somehow all this life it isn't mine so, tell me there's a reason for this.
4.
Into You 02:58
there's a lot of ways to confuse yourself and there's a lot of ways to make things better when your're in a phase can't handle what you're dealt you look to me, so i can make things better when i see your face, it makes me wanna dance i see you everywhere it really isn't fair that you are unaware i'm into you so we meet again after just a week i'll show up, but i dare you to be the first to speak yeah, here we are again so soon from last time, too i'm doing great these days, and how about you? when i go to work, i wonder how i'm getting home again when i go to bed, i lie awake and see your face, and then when i wake up, all i do is think about you and when i'm dreaming, all i want is for dreams to come true i see you every place my steps you can retrace why can't we just talk face to face? i'm into you.
5.
Deaf Ears 03:36
i've been waiting for some time now it's been a long and lonely day you may as well just turn the lights out no one's coming, anyway but i feel, inside myself a way to be with you it's so clear to me now that i've loved you somehow it's been clear to me all these years and i feel such a way that i'm leaving today if you're talking, it falls on deaf ears going places, being new there it gets harder as you age and i never quite feel prepared to go and turn that next page without you beside myself i fall apart again loving you was the best thing that i've done loving you was the worst thing that i've done.
6.
Take a Bow 02:21
i'm just sitting here thinking about the ways in which you've done me wrong, yeah i'm still lying here, wondering how long it is that you've been gone, and pull the covers up over my head so i can't see i've spent too long lying in bed this isn't me i've been thinking 'bout moving away just to see if you would follow please, don't talk -- there's nothing to say i know that's a sour truth to swallow bring me tea and something to read so i can stay here if i followed, where would you lead? that's the question dear all the trees are losing leaves it's like it's time for change, now you only hear what you believe and that's why i can't win, so take a bow it's no wonder that you ran away i always come on pretty strong i kinda thought that you'd wanna stay guess that i was dead wrong it's been years since i had a friend who treated me like this what a sad way for this to end rise up with fists! take me anywhere with you. you know that i don't care; take me anywhere with you.
7.
Get Caught 03:20
when i sit, i regret all the things that i've done and then i, my sparks fly too close to, to the sun you always remind me of a place i get things done get caught in another one of your signs like there's no way on earth that you'd be lying get caught in another one of your signs so, get down on your knees it's now time for big crime let's rob banks; let's break hearts like fred and his ginger we'll dance our way through the dark but sooner or later, i'll forget why i came i should've stayed home, but i went out, just the same and, and look at me now, i am losing this game somebody please call my name there's no way on earth that i can behave the way you'd expect sorry if it hurts but that's just the shade that's thrown when you get left.
8.
Alas, Alas 03:16
like a shoe on the wrong foot you're wearing me down and i'm having trouble walking all over town so you keep your distance 'cause i can move fast yeah, you'd be surprised how long i can last alas, alas! if you loved me, baby, then you would've said it by now alas, alas! there's a million ways that you could up and show me how alas, alas! i hear ringing, baby, but i will not take your call alas, alas, alas, alas! so, now i'm here in my own bed watching the clock there's so much i can do now if i'm not there when you wanna talk it's been a good ride but now you gotta split we were like wearing winter clothes in last year's fit help, i hear you reaching back to take my hand, and change the game and i don't usually pray for much but, right now, things are not the same so never mind the shaking heads we know we're doomed, but it's it's not the end and let's find someone who believes in our own version of pretend.
9.
10.
My Stuff 01:33
i don't care if we go anywhere i don't care if you cut your hair there's no way that we're going to be anything but enemies i've told you what you want to hear and you've confirmed my greatest fears let's not let this go on for years just give me back my stuff! i'm not here to provide you support no, i don't care if you get hurt you and me have a long history but i don't dwell on the past, you see: if you came knocking at my door yeah, i'd fall flat down on the floor so you can't see me anymore just give me back my stuff! yeah, you've been playing me for months but you can't beat me; i'm no chump you are a jerk, i had a hunch it's not just me -- i've asked a bunch you've made the wrong choice more than once i'm sick of all your little stunts and now i'm meeting friends for lunch so give me back my stuff!!
11.
you ever wake up thinking "this could be the last day of my life?" not just a lonely day but something that wakes you up inside so carpe diem carpe everything you've ever wanted, here you feel so good until you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and all your little black hearts they will turn to stone and you will wake up and find that you're all alone and everything that you love and that you've ever known is gone everything you've ever known is gone garbage here, and useless there and what's that stuff caught in your hair? i don't have time for this today there's work to do; there's bills to pay but, maybe, if i caught your smile then we could sit and talk a while but what's the use? i'm feeling blue and soon i'm betting you will too going down the drain so quickly, i can't understand can't shake the feeling it won't be okay to hold your hand maybe if i like this song, i'll try it with the band but what's the point? it's not like i could ever take a stand.
12.
there's nothing about me that you'd find ordinary or run of the mill or commonplace and you are so fragile i'd like to crack you open like eggshells we're treading on this place you always said you wouldn't be the one to hold my head up high you always said that there's still time some disasters, you go way in there's no other way to play it you'll get fucked up while you're waiting but after that, babe, you go way in i'm starting to realize that you're a deep-sea diver always on the hunt for something new and me, i'm so stagnant i'll be here when you're ready i'm always such a punk i thought you knew you never let me know the reasons why you do the things you do there's always something left to hide can you tell me what i want to know? or am i just invisible? there are places that i wanna go don't you follow me, please let me go some disasters, you go way out no matter how much i cry out there's no answers when you can't shout but some disasters, you go way out.
13.
i wake up early every day just to see if you were okay there's something 'bout the rules you break there's nothing left for you to take and when i'm driving in my car i wonder how you got so far don't know what current zip you are you're probably in some shitty bar what good is half of you when you don't know what you are? (some kind of animal; it lives and it breathes somehow) so fucking thanks a lot yeah, thanks, what do i do now? still trying to connect the dots i don't know what to tell my boss she's noticed that i've been upset i don't know how to answer yet the wind is blowing in the trees i hope that you get stung by bees i'm only here to tell you, sir what you did to me -- don't do to her. fucking thank you thank you so much.

about

This album is an anniversary re-release of Smash's solo concept album, released on 12/29/17, titled "this is how it happened." A response to and reflection on this album, Susanna enlists the help of some Skirts to reenvision and recreate this chronological retrospective recounting the very true story of the worst person she's ever met.

susannakavee.bandcamp.com/album/this-is-how-it-happened

credits

released December 29, 2018

Susanna Smash should (and will) be held responsible for the creation of this album, but it would not have been possible without Paige on bass or Jackson's album art.

This one is going out to all Skirts, past and present. Some of them more than others.

Much love to the Whirlies for tolerating so much noise coming from the basement at all times.

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The Skirts Boston, Massachusetts

queer garage pop

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